Problem Chylde: Learning & Writing

I have to spell this out for my fellow commentators in the United States.  I hate speaking to people as if they are children; but I guess after the Don Imus situation the lesson did not take.

Do not, do not, do NOT reduce a black woman to her body parts.  We are no longer on the auction block.  We are no longer museum exhibits.  If you deign to respect a black woman as a full human being, do not celebrate her accomplishments by pointing out the nappiness of her hair or the fullness of her booty.

I should have known better to expect something intelligent and proactive from Salon.com.  Salon has disappointed me in the past with its commentaries on women’s bodies and its subtle alliances with misogyny.  But Erin Aubry Kaplan’s ode to Michelle Obama’s backside has hit the rock bottom of the barrel.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I will be very proud to call Michelle Obama the First Lady of the United States in January.  I envy the little black girls who will grow up with the reality of seeing a sister in the White House.  I believe her when she says she will be an active advocate for the local D.C. community.  I believe her when she says she will make sure that Sasha and Malia receive the best while President-elect Obama leads as Chief Executive.

I even understand the appreciation of a role model like Michelle Obama having a body type common to African-American women.  I get that.

But it’s one thing to evaluate Michelle Obama and the sum of her accomplishments.   Undergraduate degree from Princeton University, law degree from Harvard University.  Work at a top law firm before committing herself to a prominent fundraising and leadership position in a community hospital.  Raising two beautiful daughters in what is, for all appearances, a loving marriage. Having a great sense of style and poise that many people admire.  This woman, respectable as she is outside of the First Lady status, will join that legacy.  It’s exciting.

It’s another to reduce that accomplishment to her backside.  “Ooh, she has a booty like me!”  Are we high?  Well, I know I’m not; let me rephrase that.  Are you high?

Actually, it took me and a lot of other similarly configured black women by surprise. So anxious and indignant were we about Michelle getting attacked for saying anything about America that conservatives could turn into mud, we hardly looked south of her neck. I noted her business suits and the fact she hardly ever wore pants (unlike Hillary). As I gradually relaxed, as Michelle strode onto more stages and people started focusing on her clothes and presence instead of her patriotism, it dawned on me — good God, she has a butt! “Obama’s baby (mama) got back,” wrote one feminist blogger. “OMG, her butt is humongous!” went a typical comment on one African-American online forum, and while it isn’t humongous, per se, it is a solid, round, black, class-A boo-tay.

First of all, black women do not own stock in ass.  That’s a stereotype.  Sir Mix-a-Lot was a pig then, and he’s a pig now.  A woman’s value does not rest in her ass, no matter how much ass she has.

Second of all, on what planet is this sexist racist bullshit okay?  Why do you think it is advantageous now to buy into it?  And what gives you the right to carve up any woman’s body for “analysis,” if you can call this tripe analysis without being HIIIIIIGH on that stuff?

Thanks to Michelle, looking professional and provocative in a distinctly black way will become not only acceptable but also part of a whole presidential look that’s more, well, inclusive. Now we’ll all be able to wear leggings to board meetings; we’ll sport pencil skirts sans the long jackets meant to cover the offending rear at big conferences where we have to make a good impression.

Let’s examine the irony. You reduce a brilliant black woman to her ass because asses have traditionally been hypersexualized… and you now feel confident to have your ass out in the open because… it is magically desexualized in professional environments …by a brilliant black woman?

Sorry. When you, Ms. Kaplan, opt to let it all hang out, your CEO is gonna send around a company memo about the new VP of Affairs’ “butt [that] would not be denied.” And how long and strong the CEO’s wanted to put a hurtin’ on it.

Ms. Kaplan moves beyond admiration of another woman’s figure to placing her body up on the block for inspection. Reducing a brilliant woman to her “unprecedented” physicality is trafficking in age-old stereotypes of a black woman’s purpose in the world. In short: she’s not a damned mule, and if she really felt perturbed about people describing Michelle Obama as a horse or a giant ape, I don’t understand her motivation to shrink Mrs. O to a rump roast and a pressed coif.